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| I did this post in 2006, after the new year, it's a survey. Let's see how much I've changed in the new year. ( FIRSTS!!! )YUS. SUCESSESS. My frist LJ cut in 7 years! xD So there's that. And this is my yearly livejournal post, that I do every year for the past few. xD And Oh! If the Mayans get their way, it might be my last. =O Anyway, Cheers, 2012.
2013 Zach, sorry this post is boring, but Timmarie's making me stop so we can watch How I Met Your Mother. | |
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| So is Livejournal like Myspace? No one uses it anymore? I think I have still one Livejournal friend who updates their status.
I usually come here when I just want to rant, but I feel like if I did, I'd be up till like... Oh, it's 6:30 AM.... Noon?
There's just so many things wrong right now. SO MANY THIGNS. And I'll start with this. Gilly.
Our kitten, Gilly, decided recently, the wants to use EVERYTHING as a scratching post. Except... her scratching post. So far, in the past 20 minutes, she's used: My leg, The new computer chair, which is kinda awesome, a pretty rad drawing of Scyther on my wall, a Picture of Lucas, a Picture of me and my mom, a Rough Draft of one of the comics, ugh, just she'll stand on the desk and use my picture wall as a scratching post. She's gonna fuck my shit up, and I'm gonna be PISSED. Plus, we think she might be pregnant. Or fat, we're not sure. We hope it's not the first. We feel the cats too much. I try not to, but Timmarie and JJ always insist on filling up the bowls as soon as they empty out. I dunno, cat obesity is kinda cute, I guess. >_>
Another thing that's really bothering me right now is how I feel like Timmarie always finds problems in EVERYTHING, and she lets EVERYTHING get to her. I don't know why she does this, if it just makes her upset. She needs to learn to take more things with a grain of salt, and not let shit bother her. It's making her so stressed, and I don't like it. Plus, it makes her be mean to me, too..
Which brings me to Elaine and JJ. Yeah, I know, I don't have a job, I know, I know. I'm working on it. I've been working a little with Greg, and I've so far paid off Timmarie's door getting fixed, which is nice. So, I think Elaine thinks that Timmarie just buys me whatever the fuck I want. Like, for some reason, she always brings up my tablet. I don't fucking know why, but she thinks Timmarie just bought it for me on a whim, cause I asked, btu no. Like... I've wanted that for years and years, and Timmarie finally bought it for me for Christmas last year. And like... she thinks I was gonna use Timmarie's money to buy Timmarie a Valentines Day present. I would sooner go out and steal roses and chocolate than do that. I'm not a huge fucking asshole. And like, Timmarie wants tickets to IOA. Well, I don't want her to buy mine, so I'm trying here, to rely on my father, to give me the 150 dollars to pay for my ticket. Now, I don't know if he'll want to, or if he'll even come through with the money. I do know, on the other hand, if he doesn't, Timmarie will buy my ticket, and I am NOT HAPPY about that. Plus, my mom said she'd fly me up for Spring Break, and now she's like "Oh, how about I pay 150 dollars of the way?" Which is better than nothing, but eh, still. It's no thte 250 it shoulda costed, I'm not gonna bitch though. Timmarie might, but I wont.
And I feel like I've just got so much online drama right now. A guild I'm in is just eating itself alive from the inside. Everyone there fights and argues all the time, and we're supposed to be friends. Everyone hates eachother, half the people are TOTAL attention whores, and the others are pretentious snobs. I just can't take it there anymore, but I really don't want to have to integrate myself into another crowd. I've been with these people for ~4 years, I can't just leave. Unlike KOL, however, where every day, each day, I feel bad, cause people I call my 'friends' don't even know the real me. And why do I lie? Cause it gets me items. I pretend to be a girl, cause people like me better and give me items. And I feel bad, cause like... they text eachother, and are friends on facebook, and I can't be part of that. Well, technically, I could text them, but what if they ever called, and got my voicemail, you know? I dunno. My online life sucks right now. Plus, on KoL I owe someone an absurd amount of in-game currency, cause I borrwed some items, and sold them to pay off gambling debt.
Denny's with Timmarie and Kaia is always such an *Drum roll* Emotional Rollercoaster. >_> I mean, like, it's hella fun, it's Denny's, that's cool. We play cards some, we get to eat, but we always end up talking about depressing shit. Like Kaia's situation... and Timmarie's dad, and how fucked up all of our lives were, but in the next sentence it could be lols and rainbows, you know? But then again, off topic to b'aww stuff. I dunno. I do like though, that... I dunno, we can all just sit around and talk about shit like that. I dunno why.
I've been reading Animorphs again. There's 52 books in the series, and I'm on 14. I feel like everyone I tell makes fun of me in their heads, or behind my back about it. It was a book seires I liked as a kid, and it's still kinda alright. It has a cool plot. Except, I could do with less books, but I don't wanna skip any, lest I miss something important, and plot relevant.
I'm just in a really ranty mood. Like.. wow. And I feel like I could just sit here and type a paragraph on anything I think of right now. I haven't put out a comic in weeks. I just feel like I've lost my flair, and my total asshole friend Nick did it to me. He always critiques my comics, and says they're not good or funny, and now I just... don't wanna make them anymore... it's... ugh. I've been so damn proud of them, since I started, and now I .... I dunno. He's an asshole. I think I'm gonna call him out on Gaia about it, or something.
Maybe I can say something not depressing about myself lately? idk. I"m going to NY for Spring Break. The four of us had a cool trip planned, but now We're going to NY, and Kaia's going to AZ, leaving Rachel here by herself, with Damien, who supposedly works all the time. Except when we wanna hang out with Rachel or something. So, i dunno.
There I went again. No, not depressing. Okay, Okay. I dunno, I got Kingdom Hearts: Re: Coded liek... yesterday. It's got a kinda derpy cutscene sequence and battle system, but the level up system is a simplified Sphere Grid, so I uber fanboyed.
And MegaCon is in late march, and William Shatner and Stan Lee are gonna be there. Timmarie doesn't want to go, so we probably won't, but if we do. 8)
Anyway, since I'll probably read this next year sometime, when I next log into livejournal, my life isn't as bad right now as I'm making it seem. I'm just being a drama queen. I have an amazing girlfriend who I am madly in love with. I have some of the coolest best friends you could ask for, and no matter what's going on, it could be worse.
Anyway, I think this really got everything off of my chest, and I'm ready to go to bed.
-Zach - Mood:satisfied
 - Music:Rush - Tom Sawyer
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| I... just.... don't know.... | |
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| Logan is just a worthless piece of shit.
He won't take boxes down to the dumpster, he wont take boxes into the trailer, and now, tonight, we're unloading into the storage, and he won't go with us to unload into the storage.
What the fuck?
He said we just shouldn't have kept anything. Yeah, okay, nothing. No Christmas tree decorations, no old shit, nothing. Whatever, he's a dick. He's got that whole "What can they do to me if I don't?" attitude.
And nothing, Elaine's let him walk all over her for years, and it's made him a total dick.
And to top it all off, I think I pulled a muscle in my upper arm, so it hurts like a bitch every time I move it. And I've got to unload the entire trailer into the storage by myself, since JJ is too tired or some bullshit.
Well, that's a lie, partially, She said she'd try to help as much as she could.
fffffffffffffffffffffff
Then Tomorrow morning, it's loading up furniture, which Logan is staying home from school to do, and then bringing that over to the new House, where Damien is going to help unload it.
Thankfully.
I really hope Logan helps load it. I can't do it alone.
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| So, I haven't posted a LJ entry in like a year, but I figure I need to get this out somewhere, and I don't want to on facebook, I know that.
So, Tuesday of last week, we went to Disney, and this is where that entry will start.
*Flashback music*
Disney was okay, except for JJ being a totally controlling bitch, it kinda went well. We rode rides, I got a bracelet (An AWESOME one) Timmarie got a doodlebopper for her car, and overall, I think we had a good time. We stopped by the super-McDonalds on the way home and ate. Well, when we got home, we found out our whole house was ransacked, and broken into. They stole a bunch of shit.
Including, but not limited to:
Timmarie's Laptop (MacBook Pro) ~$2150
Our DVD Player ~$50?
4 DS games ~$150
Alarm Clock ~$10
Logan's Guitar ~$Alot
100 dollars Logan had hidden in his room or something
My PSP ~$200
My Wireless Router ~$30?
GIBBS, THE LITTLE TURTLE, AND KING NEPTUNE. Now, who steals Turtles? People are fucked up.
Anyway, that drama is dramadrama, we got the laptop back very convolutedly, through some guy they tried to sell it to, who heard they had stolen it from us, and he bought it and we told him we'd buy it back. He was really doing us a favor, I suppose... I dunno. We got it back, that's what's important, non?
Now a whole new box of drama socks opened last night. My phone has been missing since Saturday, I've looked and looked, but to no avail. JJ came into the bedroom last night screaming at me, and yelling at me, calling me lazy and I don't do anything around the house, and I need to find my cellphone, and when I do, It's not mine anymore, it's hers, blah
blah
blah
Well, I yelled back, and blah and blah and blah, and we ended up in a screaming match, which Timmarie was trying to get us both to stop.
Well, I storm outside to go look in the car Once AGAIN, for my phone, and she starts yelling at Timmarie, about me, saying that Timmarie just LET me scream at her like that, and she didn't deserve it or something.
Well, I ended up coming inside, and calling Denny's, which my phone was there, it had fallen out of my pocket on Saturday night.
Well, I thought that was kinda over, Ha.
Turns out she called my mom this morning to ask for money, since I don't have a job, and my mom said she didn't have it right now, to which JJ told her that she needed to book me a ticket to go to NY right now. She continuted to call her names, and tell her that she did a shitty job as a parent and raised me to be a big pussy and not a man.
...
...
...
I'm sorry, at least my mom was AROUND to raise me. What the fuck, seriously?
I'M The pussy? I'm sorry, I missed the part where I was afraid to walk down the street without someone watching me? Oh wait, that's cause that was Logan.
Well, this totally upset my mom, and she almost didnt' go to work today, she was crying and upset and shit.
What the hell, JJ? What the hell?
That was overstepping. COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.
Anyway, I've got to pack, cause we're moving (all of us) back to Casselberryish.
Get out of this shitty neighborhood.
Anyway, to anyone who reads this: Sorry I don't post more.
And you're welcome for keeping you updated on the drama in my life. | |
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| So, here I am again.
Waiting and Calling, and Waiting and Calling
For my father.
You'd think, after Nearing 19 years, I'd get it. Drugs are more important than me. They always have been, always will be.
First five years of my life, it was minor, yeah.
A few nights where I maybe didn't eat or something, you know? No big deal.
When we moved to Florida, it got worse. Nights where he didn't come home. Nights where he got home at 2 AM. And me and Mom always did the same thing, waited up for him, and believed him that this was the last time.
Then, 15 came around. They'd divorced, mom found a new husband, somehow, dad was always around. He always found a house near us, found someone to live with close to us, so he could at least try to be around.
There was a clean year in there somewhere, where he was a good dad.
Then, the last four years.
Mom had Cancer, he went to jail, he went to rehab, he got out of rehab, and right back on drugs. I moved to New York. The last day I was in Florida, I was supposed to see him, and when I finally did, he was so fucked up, he couldn't even properly say goodbye to me.
Two years passed. I was in New York. He was in rehab, for the .5-1.5 year marks.
He was doing good. Calling every once in a while, etc etc.
Well, I move back to Florida.
Visit him at the Recovery House every once in a while. It's great. Take him out to lunch. Then October.
Downhil.
Majorly.
Haunted House starts. He looks better than I've seen him in years. Young, Good.
Happy
He gets the job at the Haunted House. I didn't even have to pull strings. They liked him.
Last two weeks, he stopped showing up.
Always had an excuse.
Came one night, and looked like he was on something. And had just gotten into a fight, cause he thinks his ribs are cracked.
He gets fired from the Haunted House.
So now, him and his roomate/friend/recovery partner,/whatever are living together, hardly working, trying to scrape money together, etc etc.
And now they have no place to go.
Andy is moving back to South Carolina with his family
And Dad is leaving, too.
See, my Dad was born in South Carolina, and he too has family there. But they refuse to help him. He has a best friend, Holly. From Elementary School. Holly is one of those girls who has never worked a day in her life. Inherited from her Near-Billionare daddy.
Okay.
She's also a druggie.
Coke, to be specific. Well, so says my mom (Who has no problems with Holly. They get along great, actually)
So Dad is going up there, Monday. The 7th.
So, he calls me Saturday Night, and asks me when we can get together. I say the only time I'm not busy is Sunday night. (tonight) From 6-onward He says he'll call me then. He wants to go out to eat or something, even if it's cheap. You know? Just get to see me one last time.
So I get home at 6
Sit around till 7
Play DS till 8
Play online till 9
Clean the whole damn house, till 10
And back online till 11.
He got a paycheck today. And put drugs before me Again, on the last day I'll get to see him, until GOD KNOWS when.
And I fell for it, again. Like I've been falling for it for the past 18 years. Why can't I just grow up, and get over this? It's going to happen, no matter what. And I should learn to understand that.
But every:
"This is the last time"
"I'll stop, I swear!"
"It won't happen again!"
"I'm clean, this time!"
"I'll call you"
Is so real to me every time I hear it.
Every
Single
Time
I still love him more than just about any person in the world, but I can't put up with this much longer. I just can't. | |
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| I feel like I'm being put second... Maybe not second... just... not where I should be.
It's not fair.
I dunno... it's just.. not fair.
It shouldn't be this way, but whatever... I guess this is how it's going to be.
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You said we were wolves, once upon a time, but now I've evolved into a hunter, why did you stay behind?
So I haven't posted on livejournal for months.
I know NO ONE reads this, really. but I feel like it's an obligation to let the few people who might read this know how my life has been. Since I last posted, I have:
You can't run from me, I know just what you smell like... Go and try, just know that I've hunted you in a past life...
Moved to Florida
Worked at the Haunted House as a Security Guard.
Worked at the Haunted House
Worked at the Haunted House
Worked at the Haunted House
and bought a WTF blanket.
You'll raise your white flag, if you know what's good for you....
Anyway, I don't really want to make this such a HUGE post.
I was reading through some of my older posts, and I was such a whiny little bitch. Sorry you had to put up with that, LJ readers.
Well, that's it. <3 I'm still alive. Facebook, Twitter and whatnot. I'm alive, promise.
- Music:La Mer - Morgan and the Hidden Hands
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| So, either I'm going crazy... or there's something wrong with my computer.
I'd like to think it's the second one.
Randomly.. just kinda whenever my computer feels like it, it starts playing commercials. Like... lysol, and... stupid stuff. Like... Wait. here one... It's an Australian talking... about competition.... I dunno! See?!
It's WEIRD.
It happens all the time. And majorly obstructs my music listening.
I've learned though, that if I just ignore it, it ends up stopping!!
But coming back a few minutes later.
Someone said maybe my computer's picking up signals from something else.......
I don't know. It's driving me crazy. and I can't find my ipod..
Only one week till graduation!!!
Then I get my laptop fixed.
I so can not wait. <33333333333
Sorry I haven't updated in a while.
I'm running out of good lyrics.
XD
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| Looking forward to moving. July 7th. Can not wait. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. 12th is the last day of school. Or something like that. And I will not be taking Shay with me. I think he's mad at me. He meowed really loud when I was talking to him about it. Actually, when me and Timmarie visit in November/December, whenever.. We're going to drive up, and spend a few days, then drive home, and take him home with us. I can't leave him here. He's my baby.
So, I have succumb to Twitter. If you know Twitter, you can find me on there. WylrPnufh. As is everything I own.
Also, I came out on gaia like.. a week and a half ago. I was like "PWN'd, guys" And I thought everyone was gonna be mad, and I was gonna quit, but they were all like "OMG I LOVE YOU. STAY STAY STAY" XD Basicallly, no one has done something that awesome... ever, apparently. Hash was pretty bent out of shape, for some reasons, but I'll keep those to myself. If I go to the city before I move, I might hook up with T and hang out with him some, and I'm definitely getting together with Huntr this summer.
Also, I think Rise Against might officially be in a three way tie for my favorite band. It kicked Oasis down a notch, and is up there with The Shins and The Goo Goo Dolls. I really like them lately, and I'm not sure why. I heard "Swing Life Away" like... five years ago, and was like "Okay.. w/e" Then I heard "Prayer of the Refugee" and loved it. Then slowly, started to hear more of their songs, and love them all. Prayer of the Refugee, Like the Angel, and Re-Education through labor are my favorites.
This summer should be good.
I get to meet Cassy. I'm moving home. I get to meet Huntr. I get to move home. I get to see everyone I actually like again. And well... I get to move... home.
Also, Timmarie did this awesome photo shoot, where she took pictures of people posed like famous pieces of artwork. And it was amazing. I saw Rachel, Alex, Matthew, Andrew, JJ, Maddy, Steffi, and I think Lucas maybe. I'm not sure who the two statues were, but I loved it. Mega points for her.
And Mega Points for Rachel putting the most awesome spin on The Mona Lisa that I've ever seen. Blue hair, ftw
XD
;)
-Zach
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